peter parker needs love too

my spidey sense tells me that these peter parkers are actually getting cornered into commitment, not webslinging across nyc looking for green goblin. note the peter on the left here would rather be in jail than be on the ground with mary jane.

he's no george costanza

his flagrant disregard for the effects of cold water is the primary cause for her falling asleep not because shes unappreciative of the $499/night he paid for them to get their entire outfits sopping wet.

microorganisms and immodium

jim, i told you not to drink the water from the creek! we shouldve brought the nalgenes i packed, but you said it was too cumbersome to carry. now youre stuck on that rock for the urge to pass. dammit.

hey, tis winter pale ale season!

for those who've been married or engaged in (very) short term relations, you know the value of an alcoholic drink to get you through the times. in this picture, however, the picture-taker is emphasizing this even in the blissful honeymoonal stage that this couple is purportedly commemorating. tab for johnson!

engagement, the gateway to rubble and detritus

dont know if its just me, but she has the forlorn look of regret on her face, choosing this man. i guess we can pin this flashy destination as his choice, and that she put on her cute black mini-dress only to get out of their hertz rental and walk to this, a weekend spa that burned down in 2005.

celebrity engagements: how to budget for an upcoming engagement, by tom brady

celebrity how-to story of the day:
how to save money on an engagement...according to tom brady.

yeah im sure he's got a cash squeeze these days like all of us. plus all those tempting ps3 games coming out this holiday season.

i dont see nothin wrong with a little bump and griiind

these gap employees decided to take a smoke break together, next thing you know they get engaged and photographed on the beach. hopefully the foreclosed property they bid on has laundry units.

railway to the danger zone

what is the obsession with toying around on rail tracks? why so profound?

lets take a stab...

rail tracks = leading to a new life
rail tracks = stupid place your husband got you lost at when driving
rail tracks = stupid place you drove to because your wife fell asleep listening to an audiobook and not programming/tending to the GPS
rail tracks = stupid place your husband got you lost at when driving, then running out of gas, then taking it by foot
rail tracks = marriage leads to certain death, maybe not now but soon enough
rail tracks = stupid place your photographer made you go stand on for pictures because its profound

not an english major, but accepting theories.

newsflash from the shire!

hello there! us friendly hobbit folks from the shire are proud to announce our gay ol' engagement! you cant see our hairy feet which is good for our middle-earth guests who dont like hairy feet! attention!...gandalf will be performing magic tricks at 10PM in the village square.

celebrity engagements: the tom cruise approach from the 1st date to engagement

cruise, 1 of the most famous foreigners from the Galactic Confederacy to grace us on earth reveals his insider's view of how to approach engagement with earthlings. i havent contacted him for any samples of his engagement photos, but i trust they are probably awesome.

us mag's article regarding the secret behind tom's success.

anyway, xenu 2012 if obama cant do it right.

still aint a scene, still aint an arms race

paging pete wentz, paging pete wentz...we have ashlee on line 1 ready to make out with you in a field. papparazzi have been tipped off. please have eye-liner on and be ready to go. over and out.

someone go wake up godzilla again

tune in tokyo! tune in tokyo! mothra attacking! mothra attacking! our only hope is godzilla, but he is sleeping in pacific ocean right now. please, find him! we need his atomic fireball breath!

jean-claude the photog is drunk again

i woke up one day last week with a pounding headache then got a call from some crazy woman saying i needed to be at the park with my lenses and crap. so i jetted over to central park and been drinking bellinis since. anyways, i found this on my memory card today.

i heart my inflatable fiancee

when your fiance's jacket is 9x too big for you and makes you look like an oompa-loompa, maybe you should pass? i'm probably speaking out of envy because ive bought way too many baby ruths trying to get the golden ticket.

kinda like usain bolt but without speed, medals, competitive athletic wear or any sense, really.

rusty had just won a 400 yd sprint in the state finals when he sat down in his unorthodox running gear and had a moment with ginger. he then proposed marriage and she accepted.

medium-wash jeans and white shirt...jinx! hehe!

this aint a blog on prop 8, but how does anyone tell who's who?

matching shade of jean-wash? check.
matching shirt color? check.
matching pasty skin? check.
thats a wrap!

heimlich or a rear-naked choke? cant decide.

he would not rub her feet earlier in the day and shes this close to applying a sleeper hold on his slackin ass. either that or he's just smiling thru the chicken bone right before she throws that heimlich on.

factories bring out the best in me

remember that time i wiped sludge off your face as we laid there in the thick noxious air watching the flashing emergency lights? me too, and thats when i knew i loved you. do you like my suit?

me and my beautiful bride-to-be (in the background)

man i love my fiancee. shes gorgeous, selfless and patient. most of all, she is totally out of focus in this picture because i'm the star of this movie. me. vinny chase, star of "aquaman", the highest grossing movie of all time.

she has a great recipe for boiled bunnies

lets just hope that this guy isnt already married and that he didnt close the general store just to hug beelzebub's finest.

ah, the poetic value of getting run over by a train

i'm a fan of spooning as much as the next engaged individual, but could we really not cross the railroad first? why doom yourself this early in the game?

paisley + wheat = LOVE

the only thing that can prepare you for the vows better than a wheat field...is a paisley print couch on the wheat field. isnt it a lot of effort to truck this couch out there? or did you bring it for the post-photoshoot tailgate? or this may just be a $20 photo-op at their local iowan k-mart.